Merry Christmas!!

Merry Christmas to everyone from me to you.

Best wishes for a safe and happy holiday!

The Ghost of Blogging Past

Season's greetings, everyone! I'm glad to see there's still a few people out there checking up on my well being. I must confess that I've been sadly devoid of a muse for the past few months. I need to rethink what I'm trying to do here so that I have a consistent stream of quality content to offer up. I guess I can make that one my New Year's resolutions. :-)

Oy!

I can't believe that its already Christmas! This year went by like a blur, but it did see a few interesting changes:

1. I got a new job. Score! I no longer work for the evil insurance company. I now work for the evil auto finance company. :-) I mean let's face it. Most companies are evil. Am I wrong? However, this place is a mere 10 minutes from my house. Oh Lord.... words cannot convey what a wonderful thing that is. For the past 5 years I've spent two hours in the car every day (round-trip) and to shave that down to less than 30 minutes a day is amazing. I've got this huge chunk of my day back to fill with... uh... well... whatever I want! *Mental note: Get a hobby. Oh and its more money too, so double score.
   
2. I started taking karate. Some friends of mine finally talked me into coming to karate class with them a few months ago. I have to say... it is so much more fun that I thought it was going to be. The classes are small, so there's a lot of personal attention. Also, there's no focus on form or procedure. Its really just self defense. We learn a technique and then have to defend against an attack. If we use the technique, that's fine, but what really matters is avoiding the attack. Use a defense that you're comfortable with. Its very liberating... much more so I think than have to stick to a specific form, and being expected to master every detail of it to advance. This time next month, I should have my yellow belt. Yeah that's right... I've got skills. Sweet!
   
3. Uh... ok I guess it was just two things.

Anyway, I hope everyone out there has their Christmas shopping done, or something close to it. Like every year, I did almost all of my shopping online at Amazon.com and I have to say... I think Amazon is getting too ambitious. For the first time, I may not get all of my gifts in time, even though they were ordered on December 12th. I'll have to put this rant into a separate post. Oh, and I'll also have to have a post about my first, only, and hopefully last foray into "Day-After Thanksgiving" shopping. Having tried it, it is now painfully obvious to me that we, as a society, are doomed.

:-)

So on that cheery note, I'll say adieu for now, but look for more to come!

Hey! You! Get offa my cloud!

*****ATTENTION COMMENT SPAMMERS*****

While I am truly impressed with your ability to use a search engine to find my blog posts about Las Vegas and cell phones, I am slightly less than thrilled with you taking things to the next level and deciding to take advantage of anonymous comment posting to liter my website with your trash.

Or to be more specific, it pisses me off that you think my space is your billboard.

So, in a word. STOP!

Spammed comments will be deleted immediately and never seen by all the millions and millions of people who visit my blog and want free laptops and cheap Viagra.

So... there!!! :-Þ

Hello Moto!

Nope. You're not dreaming. Its a brand spankin' new post from your master of ceremonies, AI. Yeah, I know its been a while, but as you well know, sometimes you just get busy doing stuff... and time gets away from you.

"Yeah but you haven't posted in over a month!" you say?

Yeah... sue me. I was really busy!

Anyway, I'm here now and I've got a bloggeriffic tale to share about my new cell phone, pictured on the right. The Motorola RAZR BLK is the newest toy in my collection, and I'm really enjoying it. Click on the pic to go to the phone's home page and look at all the neato features that it has.

My buddy Ted has had the RAZR V3 (its silver) for about 6 months now and seeing it really gave me the new phone bug. When I saw this black beauty on the market a few months ago I really started chomping the bit. Unfortunately, it was a little out of my budget, so I had to leave it be. Well, to make a really long story, a little less really long, I finally came into enough of a budget surplus to blow it all on this phone. :-) And that was, of course, the beginning of all the trouble...

I had ordered the phone on a Wednesday through Cingular's website and I had to wait until Friday before my new knick-knack would arrive via Fed Ex. That was the longest two days I've lived through in a while. I really wanted this phone! So Friday afternoon, I get home and there's the box on the front porch. Huzzah! Like a little kid, I get the box, take it inside and rip into like a T-Rex. I put all the parts together, spent a little time pretending it was a communicator from Star Trek and yelling stuff like "Scotty we need warp speed in 2 minutes or we're all dead!" into it, and then hooked it up for a charge like the instructions told me to.

Well, I didn't let it charge completely... I was anxious to give it a try, so I unhooked it after an hour of juice and turned it on. Curiously, the phone didn't seem to be able to dial out. The words "Unregistered SIM" were emblazoned along the top of the screen to let me know that the phone hadn't registered itself on the Cingular Network like it was supposed to. The big "READ ME FIRST" flyer that came with the phone had said that it might take a few hours for the phone to register. It also had the instructions on what to do if it never does register. So I took the phone out with me to dinner and was out for hours. In all that time, the situation never changed. So, I called the 800 number to try and get the ball rolling so I could use my phone.

The first person I talked to was a nice guy. Seemed to know what was going on. It seems that my account was still "transitioning" from AT&T to Cingular so he had to hit a few magic buttons to whisk me to the next step. He gets me through all the setup screens that he has and says. "Ok. Now all you have to do is go through our acceptance system and agree to your 2 year contract to finish the activation. I'll transfer you in." Sounds good to me so I readily agree.

A few beeps and boops later I'm in the system and its telling me to press 1 to accept this and 2 if I don't want that, etc. And after about 10 minutes the system says "Ok we're almost done. Press 1 to complete activation."

And I do.

... and I wait...
... and I wait...

"We're sorry. We cannot complete your activation at this time. Please try again later."

Hmm... well that's odd. I'll just call the system back and start over. So I call back.

"Hi welcome to the Cingular Activation System. You've already activated this phone. Goodbye!"

Hmm... well that is odd. Ok I'll wait.

So another hour goes by. I try to make a call. I can't... I get an error message recording that says... guess what? My phone hasn't been activated.

*grumble*

So I call customer support back. Talk to another really nice... seemingly knowledgeable guy. This time I know things will be alright. He sees what the problem is and before I'm off the phone with him, he's called the cell phone to test it out and by jing... it works like a charm.

I'm tickled to death and ready to relax for the night. So, me and a friend decide to go out and have some dinner. Before going into the restaurant I stop for cash at my local bank.

First ATM won't give me any money. Hmm. Out of cash? On a Friday night? Oh well. Next ATM. Same thing. These are the drive through kind by the way....

Two drive through ATMs out of cash on a Friday night? Too bizarre.

Ok so I walk up to the ATM outside the bank.

Yeah you guessed it. No dice. Obviously I've enter the ATM No Cash zone so I decide to use the ATM in the restaurant.

I don't have to tell you do I? It didn't work. So now I'm totally vexed. First no cell phone service, and now I can't seem to get at my own money! The waiter suggests calling customer service. That's a novel idea so I go for it. I go outside the restaurant, with my new phone, and call the bank.

"Ah yes... I can see here you have a hold on your account. I'll transfer you to our fraud department so you can sort it out."

Great....

"Ah yes... it seems there's some activity on your account that we want to talk to you about Mr. A.I. Our records show that you spent $230 at... hmm.... Cingular? Is that right?"

I take a deep breath.

"Yes. That's right. That's the purchase of the cell phone that I'm currently talking to you on."

"Oh! New cell phone. This is a known expense then, yes?"

"Yep."

"Ok great. Its just that we analyzed your account and since that was such a large purchase we thought it best to double check."

"Thanks."

So don't get me wrong. I'm glad my bank is looking out for me... but dang that's some bad timing. After all the time I wanted and waited for a new phone... to have so much trouble.

Its enough to make me flip this phone open and see if anyone's out there to beam me up.

Vega$, baby!

Ted and I were on our usual Friday sabbatical to Chili's earlier (no, no encounters with INS) and the bartender started talking about her last trip to Las Vegas which got me in a very reminiscent mood of my own adventures in Sin City. :-) Last year, I was treated to a trip to Vegas by my brother, TD3k, when he decided to cash in a butt load of frequent flyer miles for he and his wife, and little 'ol me.

Yes, TD3k and his lovely wife are very generous people and I am very lucky to be related to them!

It was my first time to the desert oasis and its certainly not a trip that I'll forget anytime soon. Both the bartender and I were amused by Ted's question "You mean its better than Bossier City (Louisiana)?"

"Oh yeah dude, this blows Bossier out of the water. You've got to go check it out."
Ted recounted once how he'd won a large sum of money at a blackjack table in Bossier City and that reminded me of the last hand of blackjack that I got to play in Vegas before the trip was over. I'll never forget it and will now share with you the events of that evening.

My brother and I had gone off on our own to visit the Stratosphere Tower, a truly remarkable structure. At the base of the tower is the Stratosphere Hotel & Casino (in Vegas, imagine that!) and that was our stop after taking the guided tour to the top of the tower and taking in the amazing view from 1200 feet above Las Vegas.

Like any casino, it was packed with games, lights, no windows or clocks, and cocktail waitresses by the dozen. I'm not an experienced gambler by any means, and my brother and I decided to ease into things playing the slots. Slot machines, which are of course, bright shiny variants of the old Skinner Box, are a great diversion and actually not a bad way to win a little bit of extra cash. After a few hours and being up about $40 on slot winnings alone, I decided it was time to move on.

My brother went to the craps table and I went and got $100 from an ATM and decided to find a blackjack table. The game of blackjack has always fascinated me, and I was looking specifically for a single-deck table with a low minimum so that I could maximize my chances of winning. It wasn't an easy find at all. Single-deck tables are a bit of a novelty these days in Las Vegas due to the popularity of card counting by players to try and get an advantage over the house. Nevertheless, I did find a table with a free spot and so I decided to stop and watch how the hands were going to see if the dealer was hot or cold... that is, on a winning streak or losing streak.

The dealer was an unassuming little middle-aged woman who, much to my delight, was not having a good run of luck. I watched in giddy anticipation as she dealt herself three successive busted hands, resulting in automatic wins for the other 3 people sitting at the table. After seeing this I decided to sit down and partake in this goodness. With a smile on my face, I took the empty seat at the table (which had a $20 minimum bet) and handed the dealer my crisp $100 bill. She gave me a good break down of chips to bet with and so we began.

I put a $20 chip in the ante and the first hand was dealt. Again, the dealer dealt herself an enormous hand and busted with a 25. I couldn't help but grin. On the next hand, I put another $20 as my bet and I was rewarded with a blackjack! My $20 bet was now $45 and I was well ahead of where I started. Chatter around the table was relatively light, but everyone was obviously quite happy with the situation and then suddenly, without warning, a small man approached the table from the side and tapped the dealer on the shoulder. She turned and handed the deck of cards to the little man, an Indian by his appearance, and said to us "My rotation at this table is up. Good luck to you all!" and she turned and walked away.

The tiny Indian man assumed his post behind the table and griped the cards deftly in his hands and as I scanned down his frame my eyes were caught by the glint of his name tag. I read the name and was stunned for a moment. "That can't be right", I thought, and I looked again at the little man's name.

My friends, I kid you not. The man's name was:

S-U-R-I-N-D-E-R

?!?!??!??!?!

I was blown away. The nicest, most unlucky little blackjack dealer in all of Las Vegas had just left my table and was replaced by a man who's name mocks me to surrender?!?! This can't be happening.

Oh but it was happening.

And so began the rapid demise of everyone at the table, as our new dealer, Surinder, the Ghandi of Grifters, dealt himself hand after winning hand of blackjack. He was dealing himself 5-6 cards that added up to 20. He had a blackjack of his own. Everyone else was busting left and right. It was a massacre

In 10 minutes it was all over. The house had quickly reclaimed all of its losses and added my paltry $100 to its coffers. Perhaps I should've taken the faux advice in the man's name and picked up my chips when he arrived, hindsight is 20-20 after all. I left the table dejected and feeling utterly beaten. Fortunately I wasn't stupid enough to go try and get more money to play somewhere else. I decided to track down my brother and I found him at the craps table. I think maybe I'll let TD3k tell you about what happened at the craps table, but it was certainly interesting as well! :-)

The Bard once wrote "What's in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet."

But I got $100 that says Will would be singing a different tune after 5 hands of blackjack with Surinder. LOL :-)

Don't Bring Me Down, Grüße!

First off, no updates or word from BlackOps that I've heard. Hope you're ok, man.

Next, wanted to give my brother's blog "Td3k Speaks" anoter plug. He recently posted a great story on his main page called "Popcorn Problematic" that is quite an adventuring tale and I'm sure you'll enjoy reading it. Please check it out and leave feedback.

Finally, wanted to post an ELO redux for those interested. A.I. visitor, Indigo Red, correctly deduced that the mystery word in the ELO song "Don't Bring Me Down" is the German word for "Greetings!" The question was asked though, why the hell does he say "Grüße?" So, with a little Googling I was able to track down the answer at, where else, VH1.com...

Click here to go to the Electric Light Orchestra home page at VH1.com and under the Video section, you'll see one link entitled "ELO Performs 'Don't Bring Me Down'." The clip is taken from a live performance where composer and frontman, Jeff Lynne, gives us the rest of the story on the mysterious origins of the word, and why that word is now "Bruce" just like we all sang it anyway! Great stuff! Hope you enjoy...

BlackOps goes under the radar?

So, I went out this morning to check on the latest happening of blog buddy BlackOps, over at his site, Sojourner Browny. Lo and behold a big 'ol honking blank page comes up! What's happened to BlackOps?

If you're out there man, log in and post an updating comment. Surely the Sojourner Browny has not reached the end of its journey?!

The Blazin' Chicken Wings of Death!

***Continued from Wednesday's post***

So, obviously I'm intrigued by what our waitress, Blondie, has just told us.

"Why would they think we work for INS?"

She shrugged. "I dunno. But not long back, some INS agents came into the Chili's in (nearby city) and the whole cooking staff ran out the back!"

I guess these guys had good reason to be nervous, and the mental image of 15 guys running out the back door of Chili's leaving the manager to whip up the next batch of Awesome Blossoms was very amusing and I couldn't help but laugh. It was about that time that I heard Ted sputter and cough.

Glancing his way, I heard him mutter a curse. "Damn, these wings are just drowning in sauce!" The boneless buffalo wings had something like three times the amount of sauce on them that they normally do. I guess the cook staff were hedging their bets that if we were INS agents, we'd get pissed off with the food and leave them alone. I dunno... We at the wings anyway :-)

In any case the ending of that story provides a nice segue into tonight's post!

---

A week after the visit to Chili's, Ted and I were out on a Saturday night with some mutual friends. There were 5 of us in all, and we had just gotten done seeing Mr. & Mrs. Smith, which was better than I thought it was going to be, and we were looking for a place to get something to eat. It was past 1am and the choices were few and far between.

But, as luck would have it, we spotted a restuarant along the side of the freeway that recently opened up. Don't know how prevalent they are throughout the country, but they're springing up here fast. "Buffalo Wild Wings" was the name of the place. Its a grill and bar specializing in buffalo wings and was open until 2am. Bonus!

We pile out and go in and order up all different flavors of wings and popcorn shrimp. It was all really good and we polished off the first round in no time. So, one of our friends, we'll call him Big D, decided to take it upon himself to order the next round of wings as his treat. Can't argue with that! So when the next batch of food arives we're all scoping out the different flavors and that's when we saw them. The Blazin' Wings.

Mounted on the wall was a poster of the different sauces you can get on your wings arranged from left to right from least hot to hottest. Of course I don't need to tell you which sauce was at the hottest end. We all stared in wide-eyed amazement at the Blazin' Wings as though they were the lost Ark of the Covenant. So we all dove in and kind of ate around them for a long time. Nobody wanted to be first! Finally, Big D's wife decided she would try one. She took a tiny bite and began to cough. "Wow! That hits you hard!"

The rest of us, all guys, grabbed a wing and decided to try them out. How bad could it be right?

I bit into the wing and thought "Hmm that's not too bad." And I quickly finished off the remainder of the wing in two solid bites.

Then suddenly time stopped. The sounds of the bar faded away into slow motion garbble and one by one I could feel the taste buds on my tongue burst into flame. I have never eaten anything that hot in my entire life, and I never will again. Every ounce of higher brain function that I had was suddenly shut down and in the space of 25 seconds I was reduced to a quivering pile of gelatinous goo. I felt as though I was channeling Jerry Lewis at this point. I could only speak in gibberish. Copious amounts of sweat had burst forth all over my head and begun to run down... even from my eyelids.

No wait... those were tears.

The general effect all around the table was the same... except for Ted, who had not yet tried his. He was too busy laughing at the rest of us. Tossing my spent chicken bone back onto the table, I cussed at him. "Hey man... you take a big ole bite and then laugh about it!"

Ted rose to the challenge. Taking a single bite from his wing he fell into the trap. "Oh this isn't so bad....BLLAAYAHGHGHGHAHHH!!!!!" He was done. He couldn't even finish the wing. :-) I felt really proud that I had been able to finish the wing...

... until the next day.

Suffice it to say that the Blazin' Chicken Wings of Death don't depart the body any more pleasantly than they entered it. Never again will those wings pass these lips. Talk about getting brought down!

*sigh*

This has turned into a bit of a ramble hasn't it? Think I'll wrap it up and sign off for now. Take it easy and, just for fun like BlackOps said, the next time you go to Chili's, scream "INS!!!" as you enter the door and see what happens. :-)

Don't bring me down, BRUCE!

So, let me introduce one of my best friends to you. He and I used to work together at my previous job and after he quit and I got laid off we just didn't have the good sense to stop hanging out with each other. We'll call him by his nickname, Ted. Actually his nickname is Aquaman, but that's a different story all together. Ted is a very good friend.

And this post is not really about him at all.

Ted and I hang out together on Friday nights (at the very least.) We're both single guys and desperately in need of a clue when it comes to thinking of fun things to do. On a good Friday night we only spend 2 hours having the following conversation:

Ted: "So man, what do you wanna do tonight?"
Me: "Hmm... I dunno. What do you want to do?"
Ted: "Eh, I don't know. What do you want to do?"
Me: "You don't know what to do?"
Ted: "No, but you don't know what you want to do either."
Me: "Yeah..."
<10 second pause>
Ted: "So what do you want to do tonight?"
Me: "I dunno, what do you want to do?"

and so on, and so on.

I know what you're thinking. We're just two wild and crazy guys!!

So to try and remedy our semi-social deficiency we've gotten in the habit of going on Friday and/or Saturday nights to the Chili's near my house and sitting at the bar. Its usually not overly crowded, the girl bartenders are just smoking hot (not to mention cute waitresses) and the whole crew is starting to get to know us and they'll stop and talk with us and its just been a lot of fun getting to know them all. So we'll go and have supper and have a few beers... chat it up with everyone and hang out. Its a good time.

Of course, there is a downside to this. Ted and I are, in some cases, significantly older than most of the people we're spending time with at Chili's. Its made for some interesting generation gap stories.

One night one of the waitresses came to the bar to pick up an order of drinks for the table she was serving. She's a cute little thing, maybe 20 years old, with blond, tightly curled hair and it jostled back and forth on her head as she walked to the bar. It was rocking to and fro not from the effort of her walking but from the peculiar bobbing and bopping gyrations she was doing with her head as she walked. She was humming a song to herself and, I suppose, doing some sort of little dance to the music in her head. The whole effect was a cute picture indeed. When she got to the bar, her drinks weren't ready yet, so she waited and, coming out of her fog, noticed that Ted and Andy were at the bar again!

Her eyes lit up and she smiled. "Hey guys! I hadn't seen you come in. How's it going?!"

We answered with the requisite "Not bad, how about you?" small talk BS that we usually do and then she plugged us for the real reason that she was glad to see us.

"Hey! I've got this realllllly oollld song stuck in my head and I don't know what it is, but you two should know it!"

Ted and I both laughed and looked at each other. I think that was probably the first time, for either of us, that someone had dared to accuse us of being knowledgeable about "really old" things. Of course, she didn't mean a thing by it. I'm sure she thinks that me and Ted are perfectly cognisant of and comfortable with our rapidly progressing age.

"Reaalllllly?" I asked inquizitively with half a smirk on my face. "Well sing part of it and we'll see if we know it or not."

"OK!"

So she prepares herself for the aria to come. Hands extended to quiet those nearby, and a reappearance of the aforementioned head bobbing as she gets the beat down. And then, with all the dynamic resonance of a tone deaf parrot, she squeals out the following:

"Stop bringin' meee doooowwnnnn....................... *booof*!"

Everyone sat in stunned silence for a moment and then we all roared with laughter.

"Booof? Did you just say 'Booof'?! What the hell does that mean??!"

She was laughing too. "I think that's what they say. I'm not sure. Like I said. Its this really old song. I mean, like, I think its from the 80s or something! Do you know it??!??!?!?!"

Ted and I traded a bewildered glance and both said. "I have no idea what song that is." and I added, "But, I will find out for you."

So, armed with one line and the broad generalization that it came from that ancient epoch of time known as "the 80s" I hit Google and the Apple Music store and my quest was not in vain. In a few minutes I had determined that the song in question is "Don't Bring Me Down" by Electric Light Orchestra, released in 1979. What a great song. LOL :-)

The line of the song that she sang is the title of this post. Obviously she had it a little mixed up. Bonus points to whoever can tell me why the title of the post isn't quite right either.

Ted and I decided we had to go back the next night and let Blondie know what the name of the song was that was plaguing her brain. She was ecstatic. She scrawled the name of the song and artist down in her order book. Her boyfriend came in and she told him all about it. He was thrilled too, but only because now she'd stop running around the house squealing "Booof!" It was quite the ice breaker.

A few minutes later, Blondie brought our order of boneless buffalo wings out to us laughing as she sat down the bowl.

"*giggle* That's funny. You guys don't work for INS do you??"

"Do WHAT?! Do we look like federal agents to you??"

"Well I don't know, but the cooks just asked me if you worked for Immigration. Isn't that weird? *giggle*"

That's when I realized that all the cooking staff in Chili's (all Hispanic) were not cooking at all, but rather looking at me and Ted... very... very... closely.

Conclusion later today. Yeah, I know. I only got two posts in, and didn't even finish the last one before it was Wednesday. So sue me! :-)

The rumors of my demise have been greatly exaggerated!!

Ah....

Fear not, faithful denizens of the blogosphere, I'm still alive and kicking. I just haven't been kicking hard enough to shake loose all the little buggers that have been keeping me busy until now.

I'm in the process of refinancing my house and I've been on the information warpath trying to provide my financier (a friend of mine) with all the necessary pieces of valid information in order to prove that I am who I say I am, I make as much as I claim to make, that I work for who I said I work for, and that I'm not so mind-bogglingly irresponsible that if I get a new loan extended to me I won't default on the damn thing.

That sort of thing makes lenders grumpy...

That being said, I'm here now, with free time and muse in full bloom, so this is going to be at least a Triple-Post Tuesday. Enjoy and remember to chew each bite 27 times before swallowing.

Wouldn't want you to get bloated.

OH! and before I forget. I want to encourage you all again to go out and check out my brother's blog TD3k Speaks. He just finished a very entertaining tale on his "Narrative Reflows" section. Just follow the tabs along the top of the page and leave him some feedback.

TGIAF - Thank God its ALMOST FRIDAY!!!

Its just a matter of hours now before we enter that most glorious day of the week. The day who's name I am not worthy to speak!

Yeah ok, so its Friday! *woot!*

I've had a couple of good stories saved up that I want to post either this weekend or next week, so don't give up on me. Things have just been really busy this week. I still feel like that poor girl on the diving board. Nothing a few days starting with S won't fix.

Notice on the right hand side of the screen that I've added links to the blogs that I visit on a regular basis. These are my faves right now and I'm sure the list will continue to grow!

I also wanted to thank everyone for the tremendous feedback to my big 3-part post. It was a labor of love and I'm glad so many of you got something out of it.

To BeckEye: Wanted to thank you again for suggesting the "Cup of Comfort" site. I worked for an hour trying to pare down my tale and couldn't get it to what I considered a readable level that was under the max word count. I've never been good at using less words. :-) I don't think they're currently accepting submissions in this vein anyway, but I'll keep tabs on it and let you all know what happens.

Finally tonight, I wanted to send a big props out to my real life brother, TD3k. He's been inspired to start blogging and I suspect he'll have some good things in store for us both from his massive reservoir of road stories, and his penchant for engaging in thought provoking discussion and debate. TD3k is short for his moniker, The Dave 3000 and it alludes to the fact that my brother, human tho he may seem to you and me, is really an android in disguise!

So check out his blog "TD3k Speaks" and leave him some feedback. His positronic brain craves positive reinforcement. Be sure to note the two tabs along the top of the stie. The second one will be for his longer memory downloads.

Thanks, and until next time remember that "No man is an island, unless he's really, really, really fat."

Have I mentioned that I hate Mondays?

Mondays feel just about the same... but don't worry. She's alright.

"American Diver Injured at Championships"

Suddenly, from the shadows, came a fork in the road... Part III

Be sure and read Parts I & II before reading this post so that you get the whole story...


In the afternoon after my chapel message, I was swamped with questions by teachers and classmates about the finer points of my story. Everyone was unanimous in their dismay at what had happened, but tastefully grateful and gracious to me in stating that if it hadn't I might not ever have gone to school there and made some of the lasting friendships that carry on to this day.

Just before the start of my Government class, "Dennis", one of many hometown faces that had fled the public school after I did came up to me to comment on the story. "Man, that was really something about that rock hitting you.", he said. "How big did you say it was?"

"About this big," I said shaping my hands into the rounded diameter of the stone as I recalled it. As he studied my illustration he pondered for a moment and then said "No, actually it was this big." He formed his hands into a slightly smaller diameter shape and then looked at me... right in the eye. I've never seen anyone actually turn green before, but Dennis did. The shock of his correction and his admission took a good 10 seconds to seep into my brain. In the span of that time, I blew through a dozen different emotions.

"How do you know that?" I asked, with the obvious look of shock still plastered across my face. All Dennis could do was stare...

"Did you throw the rock that hit me that day?!"

Dennis only hung his head and looked at his feet.

"I wasn't trying to hit you in the head. My friend bet me that I couldn't hit you. When I hit you in the head and you fell, we ran away. When I heard you had left school all together after what had happened I felt so bad. I hope you're not mad at me for what I did."

Then it hit me: a flood of cognition that only the human brain can produce. From the first day, four years earlier, when Dennis had walked in and sat right next to me, he knew who I was. He knew what he had done, and he went out of his way to befriend me. To begin to make amends, secretly, for throwing the stone... all the while still harboring a seed of guilt that plagued him until he finally had his chance to confess.

He nearly killed me! But what if he hadn't thrown that rock? Where would I have gone? Who would I be? Not the same person I am today, that much is for certain. The paradoxical nature of his role in my life is still one that I think about from time to time. In the one second of time that he let the stone fly, he was both the epitome of my tormentors and the impetus of my freedom.

What do I do? He hopes that I won't be mad at him? I should be... but... I can't.

Instinctively, I threw my arms around him and gave him the biggest hug I could muster. I think I actually lifted him off the ground. He was surprised by my reaction, to say the least. But what else could I do? Somehow, in that moment I realized that I owed everything to his boneheaded stunt. A crowd quickly gathered in the classroom as my classmates realized what had just happened. I don't actually remember if we had class that day or not. :-)

Soon, we graduated and went on our separate ways, but I will remember, for the rest of my life, the importance he played in helping me become who I am today. Be mindful of your actions; good and bad have a profound and sometimes imperceptible impact on everyone around you.

---

Epilogue:

Last year I had a chance to catch up with Dennis at my 10 year high school reunion...

God has it been 10 years?

I jokingly frisked him for rocks when he arrived at the party :-) lest he pummel me again and set my life down some new, unforseeable path. He joined the Marine Corps after high school and upon completing his time he got married and had a young son. His wife had recently left him and the boy to go out on her own wild adventures. Both he and his son live in our old home town today, where he works in a Paint and Body shop.

God bless you and yours Dennis, and your bad aim... :-)

Suddenly, from the shadows, came a fork in the road... Part II

Please be sure and read Part I of this post before hand...

Obviously, my parents and I were deeply disturbed by what basically amounted to an attempt on my life. My parents gave it some deep consideration and actually asked me what I wanted to do. We mutually agreed that I would leave public school and begin attending a private school nearby. I remember it was just before the beginning of the last six weeks of school and I went to school one last week and very unceremoniously took my last round of tests and bid farewell to public school forever.

The difference between the two schools was night and day. The work was college-preparatory, and so was more challenging and engaging. Class sizes were much smaller, which provided more interaction with the teacher, and best of all, the other kids were nothing like their public school counterparts. For the first time in years, I was in an environment that accepted me for who I was, embraced and encouraged that. I remember how timid I had been on my first day, and how my classmates really had to coax me out of my shell.

As time went by in my new school, we continued to grow in size and every year would bring new faces to our class, though it never was large by any means. When I finally graduated in 1994, our class was the largest in school history... 30 kids. I still love to tell people that I graduated 13th in my high school class and listen to them go "Wowww that's great." and smile to myself since I know I barely cleared the 50th percentile. Not that I was a bad student. I just went to school with a bunch of friggin' geniuses.

But I digress, every once in a while I'd see a new face at school that I had seen in my old public school days. I remember very clearly the first day of 9th grade. The Vice Principal brought in a new kid whom I immediately recognized from my old school. He was a goofy kid, and he recognized me. We'll call him "Dennis." As soon as Dennis hit the door he saw me, grinned really big and took the empty seat next to me. He told me how bad things had gotten at the old schools and he didn't want to be a part of it anymore. I certainly didn't blame him. Dennis and I didn't really like the same kinds of things, so we didn't hang out all that much. I did consider him a friend though, especially since he's from my old hometown.

And, like it tends to do in all good stories, time passes...

Senior Year. In 5 years I'd gone from a shell of my former self to being active in all kinds of programs at school. Drama, Choir, scholastic competitions, and others. The gratification of entertaining people is something I've always enjoyed and I really started to cultivate that at my private school where I was allowed to be myself.

I've neglected to point out up to this point that this was a Christian school. I don't want to build that up as any big deal. I am a Christian, but I do not subscribe to any particular denomination (neither did the school itself) and I don't want to make the school sound like its special just because of its religious underpinnings.

That being said, as seniors, we were expected to be moral leaders to the rest of the student body which was comprised of kids in grades K through 12. Chapel services were held weekly on Wednesday afternoon and we were encouraged, as seniors, to get up and speak about whatever we felt lead to before the student body. One Wednesday, as I was reflecting upon the long, winding road, that had gotten me to that point in my life, I decided to share the story that I've just shared with you.

It had occurred to me that a key lesson in my experience is to be mindful of the things we say because the words that come out of our mouths can be just as hurtful as the rock that nearly killed me that spring day. I had a captive audience for my tale, and they listened and responded well to what I had to say, I was very pleased. But I had no idea what I was in for that afternoon.

The winding road was about to come full circle in a way that I could've never imagined.

The conclusion... later today.

Suddenly, from the shadows, came a fork in the road... Part I

Before I begin relating what was, to this point, the most pivotal event in my life, I want to take a moment to thank BlackOps over at Sojourner Browny for inspiring me to share these events with anyone who will stop and read them. Sometimes there is value in the sharing, even if only a few receive it.

---

I've always been a big guy. I remember Mom ordering school clothes for me when I was young and the size was "Husky." Speaks volumes doesn't it? One of the most difficult lessons that I had to learn growing up is that people can be just downright mean when they choose to be... especially kids. Elementary school wasn't so bad (though the part of one year that I had to wear an eye patch was pretty bad... I'll save that one for another post.) As I progressed through middle school and then on into junior high, I was increasingly the butt of the jokes of my classmates. In my early youth, I had been almost a precociously outgoing child, and as the weight of my peers ridicule pressed down on me, I began a slow, irrevocable slide; descending inside of myself and only opening up to my closest friends and family.

By the time I had reached 7th grade, I was not the same person that I used to be. I endured a daily ritual at school of being laughed at, called names, tripped and spit on. In retrospect, I think now that I should've taken matters into my own hands. I was bigger than most of my tormentors. If I had decided to hurt someone to make them stop, then this story might be drastically different than it is. But that's not the kind of person I am. As I've matured, I know that conflict is necessary and sometimes positive, but back then, conflict... fighting... that was not what I wanted to be a part of at all, so I endured as much as I could.

The pivotal day came in early spring, 1988. Recess wasn't what it used to be. The after lunch ritual of playtime was the only time I had to myself away from the harassment of my classmates. I did have a few friends and on this particular day, I was enjoying talking with one of them under a tree at the bottom of a hill. At the top of the hill sat my school building. The junior high had been there for ages, and still churns out teenagers to high school every year back in my hometown. If you haven't ascertained it by this point, I was a misfit in school. Most definitely a nerd and still am to this day (though now I can wear the label with pride.) I enjoyed learning stuff in school, loved science and computers, wore big ugly glasses, and dressed with all the style of big kid who let his Mom pick his clothes for him. On this particular day, my friend and I were engaged in a heady discussion on the merits of warp drive and the potential of actually propelling starships through space by means of controlled matter/anti-matter reactions. (I know... it kinda makes you want to beat me up even now doesn't it? What a dufus I was! :-) )

The school was probably 20-30 yards from me, and up the hill... probably a 10 foot difference in elevation from the covered walkway outside the school to the bottom of the hill where I stood. The conversation was moving fast, and I believe we had almost worked out how to make dilithium crystals when suddenly, from the shadows, came a fork in the road. It took the form of rock... approximately 3 inches in diameter. Said rock had just squarely impacted me in the side of the head, and I now found myself heaped on the ground from the force of the blow. Feeling a knot already starting to rise on the side of my head, I scanned around me to see what had happened. With my friend quickly at my side he told me that the rock had come from the shadowy, covered walkway of the school. The perpetrators were long gone, no doubt laughing about their successful sneak attack.

I did the only thing I could do, continue the rest of my day. I wasn't bleeding, but I had a tightness in the temple of my forehead from the knot where the stone had hit me. It was a distraction but I finished my day and went home to recount what had happened to my parents. Needless to say they were furious that something like this would happen and concerned about me. Then, we made the most startling discovery of this event. My father asked me to take off my glasses so he could see the still hurting knot on my head. When I did take off my metal framed spectacles, the pain in the side of my head went away. Then I saw my Dad gasp and take my glasses in his hand. The earpiece on the right-hand side of my glasses was bent at a startling angle. The bend of the metal was pressing into the temple of my forehead, and I had mistaken it for a knot from the impact.

The next day I missed school and went to the doctor to be checked out (I did have a slight bruise) and we showed him my glasses. He was dumbfounded. These were heavy, metal frame glasses, bent at least to a 10-15 degree angle. The rock must've been moving at quite a speed to achieve this. The doctor grew solemn and handed the glasses back to me. "If you hadn't been wearing these glasses yesterday, you would probably be dead. The rock impacted exactly on the right temple. These glasses saved your life."

But that was only the beginning of the story...

A Golden Achievment

I just wanted to take a few seconds and post a congratulatory note out to my Mom & Dad. Today they are celebrating their 50th Wedding Anniversary, and with each passing day (as I was always told would be the case) I discover new ways in which the lessons they taught me ring true in the life I now lead on my own.

Congrats, Mom & Dad and thank you both for everything you've done to see me through!

The A.I. Fortune Cookie Quote of the Day

"The function of science fiction is not always to predict the future but sometimes to prevent it."

-Frank Herbert
Science Fiction Novelist, author of Dune

Wednesday Weirdness

Yeah so its almost Thursday as I post this, but I found this link I had stashed away and I knew this was primo blog material. So enjoy...

As a rule of thumb, I'm not really big into techno or dance music, but I've heard my fair share and even have a few favorite artists; one of whom is Fatboy Slim.

So that being said, you have to check out the link to the music video for one of the songs from an album he realesed in 2000. The song is called "Weapon of Choice" and the video stars the one and only Christopher Walken. That's really all the description I feel comfortable in relating so as not to give it away


Just click the picture on the right and remember; "If you walk without rhythm, you won't attract the worm."

Yep, That's just about what Mondays are like...

A Shot in the Dark...

Been enjoying BlackOps' blog, Sojourner Browny recently. He's got a great 3 part post over there reminiscing about the great New York City Blackout of 1977. Its an epic tale of darkness, insufferable heat, looting, pillaging and other crazed mob activities. My only complaint is that its all one paragraph! :-) DUDE! Hit the Enter key every 1000 words or so! LOL

Go check it out and leave BlackOps some good feedback!

An Evening Well Spent...

Well, I just sent Jef home after a great supper and chance to visit and catch up with him. You can catch up with his blog Thunderfish (formerly known as Quizzicles) to get the latest update on the procedure that he recently had done. Ouch, brother.

I was treated to a fine birthday banquet at my choice of Golden Corral. There's just something right about all you can eat home cooking. And we took a look at some photos taken by our mutual friends at the Mega-Evil Insurance Conglomerate who recently got to travel to Europe on business.

It reminded me of the good lunches he and I used to have and the meaningful talks. Jef, I know you'll be reading this on your aggregator. :-) You're a good friend and thanks so much for everything! Especially on a day when I was upset with the state of the world.

I got plenty of good birthday comments from those of you visiting his site. I encourage you to head over to Thunderfish and thank him for being a good buddy!

London - 07-07-05

It gnaws at me to watch the footage on television. The people weeping, dazed, covered with blood and debris. How can anyone feel justified in doing this to innocent people? What level of fanaticism must one have to murder scores of people and think that any God would want that to happen?

If I could only send one message to those responsible it would be this:

The burning resolve to expunge this world of you, and people like you, is not extinguished by the blood of the innocent. It is fueled by it.

Keep the families of those lost in London today at the forefront of your thoughts and prayers.

"The stars show an exciting change in your life!"

Yes that's right, friends. Playing a game of interstellar pool with a comet is a heinous crime against the balancing forces of the universe. Read on and see why everyone's horoscope is now condemned to be highly generalized and woefully inaccurate.

Hey wait a minute...

Astrologer Sues NASA Over Comet Mission - Yahoo! News

New Site Format

Dear devoted readers... yes, both of you;

We've got a yummy new look and feel to the site that I hope you'll enjoy.
Great new look! Same vapid content!

Eat hearty, brothers...

-A.I.

The Ageless Language of Freedom

"WE hold these Truths to be self-evident, that all Men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness..."

- The Declaration of Independence
July 4, 1776

To Me, on my 29th Birthday

So here it is. Another year gone by, and quite a milestone this year will be. The end of the 20s! The predawn of Middle Age. The twilight of Youth. An epoch of time that shall not be seen again.

What a bunch of melodramatic crap...

But as I sit here at work, deep in the bowels of the mega-evil Insurance Conglomerate, I feel compelled to indulge in a moment of pensive introspection. Twenty-nine years is not a terribly long time in the grand temporal scheme of things, but I'll ramble off a few of the tremendous things that have happened during my life:

• The American Bicentennial - July 4, 1976 (ok so I don't actually remember this one)
• Pope John Paul II was elected Pope
• President Ronald Reagan was shot
• Pope John Paul II was shot
• John Lennon was shot and killed
• The Space Shuttle program began
• The first American woman astronaut flew into space (Sally Ride)
• Personal computers became a common household item
• VCRs hit the mainstream
• CDs were invented
• Space Shuttle Challenger exploded just after liftoff
• Cell phones were invented
• Digital cameras were invented
• Digital watches became popular (LOL)
• The Branch Davidian Compound in Waco, TX - David Koresh
• The Oklahoma City Bombing - Timothy McVeigh
• September 11, 2001 - Osama Bin Ladden
• Two wars in Iraq - Saddam Hussein
• The explosion of the World Wide Web
• The .COM era of business
• Space Shuttle Columbia destroyed during reentry
• MP3s & iPods
• Ronald Reagan died
• Pope John Paul II died
• I graduated from college
• Got a job
• Got laid off
• Got another job
• Started a blog
• Wrote about meaningless stuff for your amusement.

That just about sums it up I think. Except for one big caveat. In the paltry amount of time that I've muddled through on this tiny blue-green planet, I wouldn't have had nearly as much success as I have had it not been for the support of my family and friends. So on this auspicious day, I'm sending out a big birthday Thank You! to the four corners of the world and all points in between. To the cherished people in my life, on my 29th birthday... I wouldn't be here without you.

Now let's get this whole Youth thing out of the way and get onto the main course.

The A.I. Fortune Cookie Quote of the Day

"Two roads diverged in the woods, and I --- I took the one less travelled by, and that has made all the difference."
Robert Frost

A Moment of Sine-lence

Let's all bow our collective geeky heads and show respect on the date of the passing of one of the most influential men in the history of modern computing technology. A man without whose contributions, this site, its contents and even personal computers as we know them today might not have been possible.

That man was Jack Kilby and he passed away on June 20, 2005 in Dallas, Texas. Kilby is credited with the co-invention of the integrated circuit in 1958 as an engineer at Texas Instruments. Reading the news of his passing today wasn't so much something that elicted sadness as it did a sense of marvel at how one dedicated man can make a tremendous difference to the world around him!

Thanks, Jack. This bit's for you...

World of Warcraft: Population 2,000,001 (and rising)

World of Warcraft: Population 2,000,001 (and rising) - PC News at GameSpot

As a loyal subscriber to World of Warcraft, I just wanted to post this to make note of this remarkable milestone in the game's life. To think that right now, hundreds of thousands of people all over the world are online adventuring and playing this game together is really remarkable. The appeal of the game is the most fascinating thing. What posses someone to pay to play a computer game??

I suspect the allure of it is the fulfillment of our sense of adventure, all the while being able to anonymously express the deeper parts of our personality that don't usually surface in the workaday world.

If you ever sign up for WoW, look me up on the Whisperwind server. My character's name is Kegger. LOL :-)

The A.I. Fortune Cookie Quote of the Day

"There is nothing more uncommon than common sense"
Frank Lloyd Wright

Frank Lloyd Who? Getting up to speed on one of America's most prominent sons...

"No house should ever be on a hill or on anything. It should be of the hill. Belonging to it. Hill and house should live together each the happier for the other." Frank Lloyd Wright

Over this past weekend, my brother, TD3k, and his wife were in the lovely state of Pennsylvania for the wedding of their best friend's son. Quite fortunately for my brother, an architect by trade, the location of the wedding was going to be very close to one of the most famous residential structures in the country. A house designed by Frank Lloyd Wright, who, by all reasonable measures is one of the most influential and prominent architects in modern history. The structure in question is a residence designed by Wright in 1935 called Fallingwater. A truly remarkable structure that is seemingly hewn from the stone on which it sits yet somehow remains apart from it as well. Could imagine growing up in this house?

I guess since I grew up surrounded by my brother's collegiate study of architecture (How many nights did I watch him stay up late to draft plans or build models?) that I'm more exposed than the average person. But during the course of casual conversation with friends and co-workers about what my brother was off doing, I was stunned at how many of them had never even heard of Frank Lloyd Wright, or knew that he had designed houses like Fallingwater or the Guggenheim Museum in New York City. That's a terrible shame in my opinion. Viewing his work can be truly captivating, especially considering the harmony that all of his designs sought to express. In the case of the Guggenheim in particular, the building is every bit as interesting to behold as the works of modern art housed inside it.

Well this has been an extremely cultured post, much more highbrow than my usual fare but with lofty goals! So I hope you take some time to read up on F.L. Wright and his contributions to the art and science of architecture.

Until next time!

PS - TD3k has posted some awesome pictures of his tour of Fallingwater. Be sure and check them out.

The A.I. Fortune Cookie Quote of the Day

"Sincerity is oftern lost on the cynical"
-Me

Why I Hate Politics: A Love Poem (written in extremely bad haiku)

The P word. The thought of it makes my eyes water like someone pulling out my nose hairs with an egg beater. Politics, and its older brother, Organized Religion, are the two most lethal subjects on the planet. Without question more people have been killed in this world for what they believe (politically or theologically) than any other reason fathomable. Its a wise man who once said that "there are two things you should never talk about. Politics and Religion." If other people don't know how severely misaligned with their own beliefs you are, the less likely they are to want to want to impale your head on a spike.

But its certainly not just an aversion to conflict that gives me such disdain for politics. I watch the news on TV, read a story in the newspaper or on the Web and I marvel and the disingenuous, almost cavalier, attitude that politicians have towards their constituency. Both sides of the aisle are so tainted. They sell their snake oil to a willing cadre of sheep who bleat in support without much thought to why or what the sheep on the other side of the fence might think about it. In short, politics, like religion, is a means of dividing people up into "Us" and "Them." A simple means of propagating ideologies of intolerance while maintaining the status quo for those with the power.

It certainly isn't surprising to me that every session our Congress ineffectually stumbles from one election year to the next without really accomplishing anything. For the past 25 years, the topics that require action have been the same. The economy. Social Security. Taxes. Jobs. The National defense. Why? Are these issues intangible? Unsolvable? Difficult issues to be sure, but I suspect the worst from those in power simply because they are human after all.

There's a simple truth which I try to abide by. People believe what they want to believe. On matters of politics, you're just as likely to turn a lead bar to gold as you are to try and dissuade someone from their viewpoint. We arrive at our points of view as a function of our environment. Its wise and generous to try and aide someone whom you feel is astray in their belief. Discuss it... you may end up changing your own views, but a continual debate on issues? Push and shove, give and take. Over and over again... it seems fruitless and a terrible waste. Human interaction can be so much more fulfilling than to argue about such things. If we all spent more time trying to accept each other for what we are as opposed to trying to make everyone more like us, we might actually get somewhere in this world...

There endeth the rant. Share your thoughts, if so inclined. But don't expect a reply if you disagree with me. :-)

I'm going now to try and think of something more light-hearted to post about.

What happens in Uranus, stays in Uranus...

Only time for a quick post tonight before I lumber off to bed, but I wanted to share this one with everyone. Apparently a "prophet" in Las Vegas has learned the power to conjure up UFOs on command. In the link below you can read the story about his special talent and see the video aired on the local ABC-TV affiliate in Las Vegas where Prophet Yahweh summons a pretty convincing UFO on camera at the date, time and location of the station's choosing. Pretty wild stuff!

What's worse is that the resident Holy Man in Sin City says that more are on the way this week. Its Wednesday now. Hope our interstellar spectres got the memo so that poor Prophet Yahweh doesn't end up holding the short end of the aluminum foil hat.

Beam yourself into this link and feel free to share your own close encounters... but keep it clean!!

'Prophet' summons UFO for camera - Las Vegas TV station captures, broadcasts image

Until next time, keep looking up.....

Allow myself to introduce... myself.

There's nothing like an introduction out of place. But since I'm a sometimes fan of chaos, it makes perfect sense for me to pause from my ramblings and fill you in on who I am and what I'm trying to accomplish here. If you've stumbled to this link from my friend Jef's blog, Quizzicles, then you probably have heard about me before. I am AI. I worked with Jef at a major evil insurance conglomerate bent on world domination for almost 4 years before he moved on to greener pastures. The moniker, AI, which Jef has used to preserve some degree of anonymity for me is how I have derived the name of my blog; Artificially Intelligent. Not that I've actually had my intelligence artificially enhanced in any way (I'm 100% natural, kids) but its just a quirky enough name to appeal to my particular style of self-deprecating humor (a speciality of mine.) As you can see, I lack focus sometimes. Not exactly ADD, but more like a mild form of Tourette's. I love to talk, and writing is an extension of that to some degree. So back to the "introduction." I'm a computer nerd, self-professed geek and all around renaissance man. I love music, I love to perform, and I love to make people laugh. Which, of course, is why I'm a programmer. Maybe someday I'll take care of that career miscalculation. I certainly can't say it was a bad choice though. I've been afforded the opportunity to befriend a whole host of fantastic people since I've started down this path, and I wouldn't trade that for anything. And as for what I'm trying to accomplish with this blog? Well that's the beauty of blogging, isn't it? I'm not trying to accomplish anything. This is merely another creative outlet and one that I hope to explore more fully in the days and weeks ahead. Hope you enjoy the ride. Air discomfort bags are located on the back of the seat in front of you.

Power!! Unlimited Power!!!

Well at long last, myself and a group of co-worker friends got out to see Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith, and it was quite a treat. Getting to see a movie like that with friends is really cool, especially when they bring their kids along to share in the experience. I get a kick out of hearing what they think about things.


It never ceases to amaze me how rude some people can be, though. Sitting in the theater tonight there was a couple of guys sitting behind us and this guy was just blabbing his head off through the whole movie talking about what he thought of every little detail. What a pain. Don't know why, but I'm the only one who seems to notice stuff like that. Drives me crazy! I had to surpress the urge to turn around and tell him to shut up. Probably a good thing that I didn't.

But now the real question is, what's the next movie that we can all get together and see?? I mean Lord of the Rings is finished now. No more Star Wars. The Matrix movies are done. I'm running low on high quality trilogy entertainment!! Did see a trailer that gives me hope though. The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe.

Never read the books by C.S. Lewis, but the special effects are being done by the same group of people that did LOTR and its quite compelling to see on the screen. Its a Christmas time movie so that might be something to look forward to. Of course in the meantime, we're just getting started on Summer blockbuster season and it looks like it going to be a bumper crop!

Until next time... peace out.

Brave New World...

Well, its been a long time coming, but I thought I would take a crack at this whole Blogging fad. I'm certain I'll have very little to add in the way of valuable content to the bloated cesspool that is the Internet, but that's not stopped anyone before, has it?! Heck no!

So stay tuned and watch this space for new and exciting nuggets of Artificially Intelligent wisdom. Who knows, you might learn something...